Friday, January 27, 2012

Cheap Thrills #11

Cheap Thrills outfit # 11
Corduroy Shirt Dress- $19.99- Zulilly!!
Snake skin skinny belt- 3 belts for $8.00- less than $3.00 per belt! Vonmaur
Tights- 2pack from Walmart $3.99
Boots- on sale but not a cheap thrill- I believe I paid $49.99 after the coupon at Bergners... using our equation of cost divided by times worn, already seriously a bargain.

People before Things

See it? The title? that's it...

I can't remember the first time I heard my mom tell me this. It stuck with me... is replayed often in my head, shouted, really, as I'm putting the picture frames back up on the console table (happy big boy and his slightly OCD remote arranging comes before frames or any sort of decorative placement), wiping the milk off the couch (relaxed baby and calcium come before furniture), scraping the jelly off the floor (activity and independence come before order and wood). It even encompasses our 'fur' people- it's why Truman didn't end up at the glue factory after he trotted out with one of my favorite shoes to chew on each and every time I sat down to nurse a baby- until I learned/remembered that it was best for both of us- his life and my sanity- for him to take a nap while the baby ate. People before Things.

It's why I hadn't been shopping for WEEKS... I was focused on my people- my amazing little people, my nursing home people (turned down 2 jobs in 2 weeks... sigh), my family and friend people. And it was good. And I didn't even, really, miss the shopping... well, alright that may be *slightly* less than truthful, but I didn't really, REALLY miss the shopping until a few nights ago.... when I called my hub B to see if he and the crazies wanted to meet me in at the mall to play on the indoor climbers and eat some tortellini, maybe wander throughout Macy's.... B, bless his amazing heart, must have sensed some of the stress and blah, bleh, and blech that have been adding up (ok, ok, he lives with me, he loves me, he was most likely tired of hearing about the blah and bleh, and blech, and equally done putting up with me in a rotten mood because of said blah, bleh, blech) so he said 'why don't you just go shopping'.

Really? ok!!! Ok!!! OK!!! I will. I did. but... but it wasn't crazy shopping. It was thoughtful shopping, keeping in mind that I have a lot to DO that, really, puts People before Things.

1. I'll be going to Advocacy Day in Washington D.C. in March- we will be speaking to those in Congress about our People, about the laws and policies that will make the future better for those we love, better for my amazing Abraham.

2. I'm running (read: jogging slowly but surely) and running consistently to be ready for the Fragile X 5k on April 21st and the 10K on April 29th for Landon's Dragon Slayers/St. Jude. Running for so many amazing people that are living lives touched by FX-and not just surviving, thriving. Running for this amazing little boy and so many others like him, as he battles on and KICKS Cancer to the curb.

3. I am being more social... are you laughing?? I think I can hear you laughing... ok... I'm working on being more consistently happy to be social, and for me, this involves clothing- yes, yes, shallow... but at least I admit it. I am working on doing more with people in my here and now life that I had avoided during the first year of Abe's life, that time prior to our diagnosis, and for the first months or even years after... i didn't want to talk to them, go anywhere, do anything because i couldn't talk about the sadness and fear and anger that I had. the emptiness that i felt anytime i saw their happy children doing amazing things that my sweet son couldn't... and maybe still can't. I'm working on rebuilding those relationships that I pushed away- DOing things, spending time with people that are important to me, that have different struggles and mountains to climb- because no matter what you have or don't have in your life---you have struggles, you have worries, you have days that drive you right to the edge... we all do.

So I shopped, happily. I found bargains to wear while I'm DOing. I found chic deals and steals that I will soon post pictures of, that I will wear while GOing. I took time for me...because I am People too, and stress- stress is just a thing. People before Things.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Cheap Thrills Outfit#10
brought to you by inspiration from Pinterest.
Cropped Denim Jacket- Old Navy, sale + coupon $18.99
Scarf- Walmart, $6
Dress- Target, $19.99- summer time
Leggings- Cato, $9.99- don't buy em, they fall down far too often.
Boots- same ones, baby! $12.00, kmart years ago.
Outfit total: $66.97

Decisions, decisions.

Decisions are tricky.

I admit to doing a little impulse buying- completely devoid of extended thought, choosing based solely on that initial urge and tug at your gut- the color, the silky soft feel of the fabric, the cuff or the placket detailing. I also admit that several of my 'shopping trips' would be better classified as 'returning trips' - bring home impulse buy, try it on, fuss and fiddle, pack it up, take it back.

I have, at times, shopped like an anal, analytical accountant-debating and list making, comparing and contrasting until I've seen every last pair of luggage brown mid calf boots with a 2 inch heel and 14 inch shaft circumference in a 60 mile radius as well as those online. Judged cost vs. possible usage and outfit compositions.

I had a big decision to make this weekend... technically still 'have' vs 'had' as I haven't spoken with those in charge, but I feel like I've come to a peaceful middle ground and believe, for the next 5 minutes, anyway, that I know where I'm headed. I'm attempting to marry the gut reaction and pros and cons list into a well thought out choice that is good for my family, good for my marriage, and good for my soul. A possible job change. Nothing I can return or take back after a few weeks if it doesn't look/feel/turn out quite as well as I had hoped.

Tricky, these decisions. Tricky because you know, whether you'll admit it to yourself or not, that all the while you're making lists and debating salary vs. benefit, trouser fit vs. boot cut... your gut has already laid down the law.

I was actually doing a little 'research' for this blog... but seriously, there are TONS of cites, books, blogs, and opinions dealing with the topic of decision making- everyone has something to say about this topic- and this cite tries to combine them all :-) including graphs, charts, and quotes from different well know philosophers including this little gem -

Pooh's Little Instruction Book says "When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it."

As well as this winner...
In The Histories, written in 450 B.C., Herodotus makes the following statement:"If an important decision is to be made [the Persians] discuss the question when they are drunk and the following day the master of the house...submits their decision for reconsideration when they are sober. If they still approve it, it is adopted; if not, it is abandoned. Conversely, any decision they make when they are sober is reconsidered afterwards when they are drunk."

Uh huh... that clears that up, doesn't it?

We can take information- real or imagined situations, our feelings, our friends feelings, what we feel our friends might be feeling- and make it into a HUGE THING in our head... but on closer examination, or, as Pooh stated, when viewed through other's eyes- eyes without such an emotional attachment- the THING looks much different.

To be fair- I imagine the Persians felt they were giving due diligence to a topic by providing both rational thought and gut decision/truth spewing drunken conversation to whatever they were debating- pillaging etc.

Do I have a point... maybe. You know I'm trying to be more active in 2012. I'm trying to GO, DO, and BE who and what I want to become.... and this decision had me flummoxed. Details would lead me one way, my gut would pull me back.... and then I saw this:

Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?

and that's why, now, I can say that I *had* a difficult decision to make. I'm done.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

On our way to the annual Ugly Sweater Christmas Party!
B- Christmas tree turtle neck- $1 at Faith's second chance thrift store, Green Dockers Sweater Vest- $2 at Faith's second chance thrift store (and something that would be wearable in real life if he were a sweater vest kind of guy)
A- Snowy scene cropped, box shaped denim shirt- $1 at Faith's second chance thrift store, Silver Belt that made everything amazing ... came free with a pair of capris that cost me $13.99 at kohl's.

Having a great time with great friends wearing ugly clothes- worth more than words can say :-)

Where Ya Been?

Happy 2012... Where Ya Been?

Well, I've been busy, thank you very much- busy with parties and costumes and Christmas and New Years and Birthdays and work and school and blah and bleh and blech. The first 5 mentioned were happy busy, the last 5 cause stress and gastric acid but, in the grand scheme of things (and in the minutia as well) are necessary and I'm thankful to have them to whine over.

It's a new year and you know, my list loving friends, that THIS girl has been busy- busy planning and plotting for 2012, busy making lists and plans, busy with what my HOPE might lead us to, busy with where my DREAMS are going. Of course I made resolutions... any one of the daily lists or thought streams could fit that definition, but I hadn't OFFICIALLY wrote them down because... well, because I've been busy. Busy with life- this life that changes and shape shifts and morphs so much from one day to the next all the while staying. exactly. excruciatingly. the. same.

I've found some new blogs that I LOVE, really, truly, super duper LIKE a LOT!
and I caught up with others that I LOVE and LIKE a LOT that deal with grief and parenting and special needs- like

Amongst all this reading and thinking and pinning and liking and sharing, my New Year's Resolution and *focus* for 2012 became clear- I want to DO... I don't want to just read, just think, just plan... I want to DO, GO and BE- and, to be honest (and, let's face it, a little shallow) I want to look fantastic in the process.

The more you read, the more you feel like reading- the same holds true for exercise, shopping, eating healthy foods, crafting with your babies, swimming, walking to the park, praying, blogging and sitting on your booty on the couch Facebooking, pinning, and viewing crazy 'fail' videos til 3 a.m. . All things in moderation- right? Yep.... easy to write, harder to implement... and this year, I'd like to err on the side of motion.

So..(drum rolllllllllllllllll) Here are my Resolutions for 2012

1. I will focus more on GOING than on what I will wear to GO.... there have been times when I haven't GONE because I wasn't happy enough with myself and what I had to wear (shallow?)... and I have used these times as a motivator(deep)- in 2011 I lost almost 40 pounds and promised myself that never again would I feel too self conscious to pick up and GO when the opportunity presents itself. I have renewed that promise- to myself and my family- which is why you WILL see me exercising consistently to remain in the right frame of mind to wear my swimsuit in February without mentally vomiting. I will GO... and I will GO NOW.

2. I will focus more on DOING what I can RIGHT NOW, than on what I can't do for lack of time, money, or resources. We all have great ideas, tremendous, creative, wahoo! ideas... and I'd hazard a guess that less than 1/10th of them come to fruition. I've written about being present, being IN THE MOMENT because you can't, no matter what, stop the passage of time. For 2012 I will play hard, right now, with my amazing babies, not bemoan the fact that I have to work 40 hours a week and miss countless precious moments. I will take a walk, right now, not worry about yesterday when I missed my workout, or tomorrow when the schedule's crazy and I'll be lucky to have enough time to brush my hair much less break a sweat. I will DO... and I will DO NOW.

3. I will focus more on BEING the person I want to be... vague? too broad? possibly, but true.. I want to BE kind. I want to BE centered on Christ. I want to BE a kick booty advocate and example for my children- I want them to see that life isn't fair but you can still make it wonderful, amazing, and precious. I want to BE a better friend, in real life, to those who are important to me. I want to BE stronger mentally. I'm not talking working towards, I'm talking right now, this moment... I will BE, and I will BE now.

What about You? What are you going to DO, where are you going to GO, who are you going to BE? When 2013 rolls around, what will you have to show for it?