On our way to the annual Ugly Sweater Christmas Party!

B- Christmas tree turtle neck- $1 at Faith's second chance thrift store, Green Dockers Sweater Vest- $2 at Faith's second chance thrift store (and something that would be wearable in real life if he were a sweater vest kind of guy)

A- Snowy scene cropped, box shaped denim shirt- $1 at Faith's second chance thrift store, Silver Belt that made everything amazing ... came free with a pair of capris that cost me $13.99 at kohl's.

Having a great time with great friends wearing ugly clothes- worth more than words can say :-)

Where Ya Been?

Happy 2012... Where Ya Been?

Well, I've been busy, thank you very much- busy with parties and costumes and Christmas and New Years and Birthdays and work and school and blah and bleh and blech. The first 5 mentioned were happy busy, the last 5 cause stress and gastric acid but, in the grand scheme of things (and in the minutia as well) are necessary and I'm thankful to have them to whine over.

It's a new year and you know, my list loving friends, that THIS girl has been busy- busy planning and plotting for 2012, busy making lists and plans, busy with what my HOPE might lead us to, busy with where my DREAMS are going. Of course I made resolutions... any one of the daily lists or thought streams could fit that definition, but I hadn't OFFICIALLY wrote them down because... well, because I've been busy. Busy with life- this life that changes and shape shifts and morphs so much from one day to the next all the while staying. exactly. excruciatingly. the. same.

I've found some new blogs that I LOVE, really, truly, super duper LIKE a LOT!

like

http://momastery.com/blog/ and

http://www.iammommahearmeroar.net/

and I caught up with others that I LOVE and LIKE a LOT that deal with grief and parenting and special needs- like

http://momnos.blogspot.com/ and

http://phoebeholmes.com/ and

http://mysonsaretard.blogspot.com/

Amongst all this reading and thinking and pinning and liking and sharing, my New Year's Resolution and *focus* for 2012 became clear- I want to DO... I don't want to just read, just think, just plan... I want to DO, GO and BE- and, to be honest (and, let's face it, a little shallow) I want to look fantastic in the process.

The more you read, the more you feel like reading- the same holds true for exercise, shopping, eating healthy foods, crafting with your babies, swimming, walking to the park, praying, blogging and sitting on your booty on the couch Facebooking, pinning, and viewing crazy 'fail' videos til 3 a.m. . All things in moderation- right? Yep.... easy to write, harder to implement... and this year, I'd like to err on the side of motion.

So..(drum rolllllllllllllllll) Here are my Resolutions for 2012

1. I will focus more on GOING than on what I will wear to GO.... there have been times when I haven't GONE because I wasn't happy enough with myself and what I had to wear (shallow?)... and I have used these times as a motivator(deep)- in 2011 I lost almost 40 pounds and promised myself that never again would I feel too self conscious to pick up and GO when the opportunity presents itself. I have renewed that promise- to myself and my family- which is why you WILL see me exercising consistently to remain in the right frame of mind to wear my swimsuit in February without mentally vomiting. I will GO... and I will GO NOW.

2. I will focus more on DOING what I can RIGHT NOW, than on what I can't do for lack of time, money, or resources. We all have great ideas, tremendous, creative, wahoo! ideas... and I'd hazard a guess that less than 1/10th of them come to fruition. I've written about being present, being IN THE MOMENT because you can't, no matter what, stop the passage of time. For 2012 I will play hard, right now, with my amazing babies, not bemoan the fact that I have to work 40 hours a week and miss countless precious moments. I will take a walk, right now, not worry about yesterday when I missed my workout, or tomorrow when the schedule's crazy and I'll be lucky to have enough time to brush my hair much less break a sweat. I will DO... and I will DO NOW.

3. I will focus more on BEING the person I want to be... vague? too broad? possibly, but true.. I want to BE kind. I want to BE centered on Christ. I want to BE a kick booty advocate and example for my children- I want them to see that life isn't fair but you can still make it wonderful, amazing, and precious. I want to BE a better friend, in real life, to those who are important to me. I want to BE stronger mentally. I'm not talking working towards, I'm talking right now, this moment... I will BE, and I will BE now.

What about You? What are you going to DO, where are you going to GO, who are you going to BE? When 2013 rolls around, what will you have to show for it?

Check out this hot mama! Not only is she an amazing X mom (with a really great blog- ourfxjourney.blogspot.com) She's a bargain hunter and cupcaketress!!! Check this out!!-

Dress $9.99 clearance and a cyber coupon, boot $12.99 clearance and end of the season, belt $3 Outfit total $$25.98

What, Really, is a Bargain?

My faithful friend(s) Merriam-Webster (MW) defines Bargain as 'an advantageous purchase' or 'an transaction, situation, or event regarded in the light of its results'. Umhmmm... remember back years (ok, just weeks, really, possibly just days as this blog is not so old) ago when I mentioned that we would discuss the pros and cons of buying one quality item vs a cheap thrill or multiple 'bargain' items? Remember how I stated (typed, whatever) that this was not a 'buy all you can bonanza', but a concentrated effort to spend less while still meeting your needs, still (most of the time...when you get some sleep and fix your hair) looking fabulous, while putting your money and time towards things that matter?

It's all come to a head- my fantastic cheap thrill $13.00 Bongo jeans from Walmart have a hole on the seam... right outer thigh, about an inch long. I'm sufficiently able with a needle and a thread (as long as it's on a seam, i.e. brown tiered skirt) to fix this little annoyance, but is this a sign of things to come?

They say (I don't know who 'they' are, but we all know them and have heard what 'they say' our entire life) that you can determine the actual price of an item- dress, tool, appliance- by dividing the cost by the number of wears or uses. I purchased the $13.00 jeans on December 10th... in the ensuing 18 days I wore them AT LEAST 5 times that I can remember, not always all day, but at least a few hours each time... and that might be a conservative estimate. Using our 'what they say' equation, the actual cost of the jeans at this point in time is $2.60... and extrapolating (whoa!!! math!!!) those numbers to a 1 year span with an average of 101 wears in that 365 day period, the 'cost' of the jeans would be $0.13 cents.

You might be thinking... well, a little time, effort, needle and thread- not such a big deal! Surely worth it to continue wearing the jeans, prolonging their life span and decreasing their total cost... yes?

We must have a control item (boy oh boy!!! Science and Math both!!! Together in one little blog about STYLE!!!!) Let's take my Silver brand jeans that I purchased in March of 2008- I spent $67.00 on them- a happy birthday to me splurge!!! and have worn them at least 2 times a week for the last 3, almost 4 years (minus the last 6 months of pregnancy and 15 more months of getting back to my 'normal' size). So ( more math, deep breath) Let's say that we had 46 months (march to march of 3 years=36 + march to december of this year =10) minus 15 too big months= 31 months with an average of 4 weeks each/ 2 wears per month for a total of 248 wears. $67.00 divided by 248 leads us to a 'cost' of $0.27 cents for my favorite, faithful denim pal, with nary a rip nor tear.

Sooooo (more math... in through the nose, out through the mouth) already using only 1 years time we can tell that the 'cost' of the cheap thrill is less than the 'cost' of the premium denim, and when you figure the 'cost' per year average of my Silver jeans (12 months, 4 wks/month, 2 wears/week) the 'cost' is $0.70 for premium denim compared to $0.13 for my cheap thrill.

TA-DAH!!!! But... but, but, but will my $13.00 jeans last 3 almost 4 years? if I'm already mending after 18 days will they make it through my rough and tumble wrestling/tackling crazy boys life? What about the repeated washing to remove smashed goldfish, squished grapes, and chewed then chucked chicken pot pie that, if I had to guess, is the cause (the repeated washing, not the well masticated meats) of the hole on the seam of my cheap thrill denim.

We'll have to wait and see... remember, MW, states that you can't really call an item a bargain until you've 'regarded it in the light of it's results'. Come talk to me in 2015 and we'll know for sure. Until then- What item have you worn for YEARS??? Was it a splurge or a steal? Do you think that price reflects quality or are you really just paying for the brand and all it's advertising? hmmm?

It's all about Control

What, exactly, can you control? What you wear? Where you go? With whom you speak?

Growing up I had a good friend who wore very normal clothing in a very normal way... anytime she 'branched out' her mom would say "That looks like something Amy Maslan would wear"... and you can bet your sweet booty that her momma was NOT giving her a compliment.

My first phrase was 'I do!'... my way of telling my parents, brother, the neighbor or anyone in shouting distance that I would do it myself, and I would do it MY WAY! That came through in my clothing, in my choice of activities, in the books that I read (don't be thinking I was some wild and crazy rebel... bookworm is more like it, a nice, polite, bookworm)

I know a young man who wears shorts year round- come rain, sleet, snow, or hail, he has shorts on. I know a young lady whom I have NEVER seen without a completely 'done' face, including her beautiful false lashes that I adore and coveted and never would have guessed were faux until I saw her pull one strip right off in a meeting... I about fell off my chair!

These are our public 'faces', our online personas, the 'us' that we put out there for everyone to see... do I post the pictures that show my lumps and bumps and pudge? HECCCCCKKKKKK NO! Nor do I post when we've had an awful FX night- spitting and biting and fussing, not eating and surely not sleeping. What about days when something brings me down, when I'm sad and blue and filled with worry... my mental lumps and bumps and pudge spilling out all over my real life.

Look back at the first sentence- Your occupation might dictate what you wear, and speaking of gainful employment, that surely dictates where you go and when you get there and whom you speak to while you're there. Not saying you can't change jobs, move, and so on... but what can you change RIGHT NOW?

As a parent, I am WELL aware that my attitude, my state (calm, frantic, peaceful or frazzled) has a significant impact on my children's personality and mood. Same thing at work- When I am cheerful, in control and relaxed my patients and their family members pick up on my vibes and, hopefully/usually/eventually, we all move forward in a calm effective manner. I can't control how others treat me... and sometimes it's really, really hard not to pop off an obnoxious rejoinder or to jump on the stressed out train that carries many passengers and runs fast and furious in every medical setting I've ever worked.

I am working on that inner locus of control- the one that says 'Right now, I'm in charge of me... and my life is a reflection of the choices I'm making'. I can't change the past. I can't change my chromosomes, my DNA and the mutation that I carry that caused my sweet big boy's FX, but I can most surely work every day to ensure that his FX does not define him, does not define our family, and that the guilt and worry do not define me. I am in control of my attitude and how I react to the hugging, smiling, milestone accomplishments that he makes is just as important as how I react to the spitting, biting, fussing. Just as with my middle B and baby A, how I react to the boundary testing that 4 year olds do, the 'must have momma' drama that consumes many of my 1 year olds waking moments, and the sweet cuddles and amazing leaps that are being made, it all gets wrapped up into this crazy thing that is 'our life'.

My style is affected by my attitude... When I'm feeling bogged down by negative thoughts and emotions, I wear something safe... something that no one will notice- for good or for bad. When I'm feeling self assured and peaceful I'm more likely to branch out... I don't care so much if other's like my style because it's a choice that I have made that makes me happy (or a learning experience, either one).

So, ramble coming to a conclusion, focus on what you are in charge of- your attitude, your inner state, your locus of control. Decide how you want your life to be, then go after it. Don't worry if someone (or their momma) doesn't like how you look. Be at peace, be you.

Cheap Thrills Outfit #9-

Shirt- Limited, on sale + coupon $18.99

Scarf- Walmart, $7.00

Denim- IT brand, on sale at VonMaur 2007

(notice the '5 year rinse'?) $19.99

Shoes- Cato, zebra print and fabulous, on sale $9.99

Outfit Total- $55.97 plus tax

Cheap Thrills outfit #8

Cheap Thrills outfit #8 Sweater, Buffalo from TJ Maxx $19.99, Burnout creme shirt-Maurices 2008, sale $14.99, Creme Cami-Limitted 2008, sale $12.99, Corduroy skirt-Walmart 2007, $5.00, tights-Merona at Target $3.99, boots- $12.00 Kmart years ago. Outfit Total= $68.96