no stats tonight- leg back in compression hose post sclerotherapy today.
I'm sure the stress about the job, the money, the unknown is playing a big part in all of this (still no word- Tomorrow?) but, you know what's on my mind? what seems to be in every pocket of my brain and so i might as well just write about it and be done with it???
the fact that I invited 25 children to my son's birthday party. 25 children that have had parties and not invited my precious baby. a 'cousin' that had a birthday party and invited my middle man and not my big boy.
and part of me.... part of me wants to say SCREW YOU!! Don't you see how AMAZING HE IS? How much he enjoys being with you, even if he's doing something different??? Even if he's just watching??? What the HELL is wrong with you??? DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND???!!
but i don't. because what will that accomplish???
nothing. not a thing.
apparently - they don't know.
and so it's up to us to show them.
I understand that by this age, heck, 4 years ago, kids have true friends. friends they prefer over most everyone else. and when you can't talk and you don't play with toys and you don't run, ... it makes it hard to be friends, true friends, with your neuro-typical peers. Abe has always been invited to a few parties each year for peers - either whole class parties, or for those 1-2 kiddos that have known and loved him for years. not this year.
We're having a swim party- something my big kid loves. Instead of gifts- that he could mostly care less than 2 cents about, we are asking that each of his friends bring a quarter or two and we will donate them to The Fragile X Foundation!
We'll have cupcakes and give out goody bags.
We'll make it wonderful. My precious son will have fun- you know why? because we love him enough to fill whatever gaps there are from others who don't. we love him , not despite of any differences, but simply because he is amazingly wonderfully fantastic, and the closest thing to God I'll most likely know in this lifetime.